Ever felt liberated ? Ever felt like nothing really matters ? Well, I can say I have been disillusioned, albeit for a moment. I have let go, I am now me, albeit temporarily. My poor performance hurts me, but it also thrills me to limits. I am now close to being that person I always wondered about, one who dwells at the bottom and aspires not to move up, one who seems forever lost, but has in reality found himself.
I have one life and I aspire to do a lot of useless things with it. Maybe get wasted on Monday to begin with, spend Tuesday thinking, make someone smile on Wednesday, lose Thursday to a far away dream, lead a revolution on Friday, spend Saturday with friends, let Sunday be a new start and then break the cycle altogether. Hell ! life can be so much pointless and yet worth its while. And yet here I am trying to set my life in order when all i want is chaos, I feel bad about a poor performance when I don't really want to. I am so close to being what I want to; I could not care and become my own aspiration, and yet I end up caring and thus end up losing.
It isn't my performance that causes me to lose face in front of the mirror, but the fact that I give a damn about it.
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1 comments:
And the point that after you spoke all this miracles happened and we find that all is not yet wasted. fear no more my friend ...... go and face the mirror........ you have been redeemed........
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